The philosopher, Martin Buber, is most known for his work on “I-Thou/You” relationships in which people are open, direct, mutually interested in each other. In contrast, “I-It” relationships are those in which we use the other, like an object, to solve our problems and fulfill our needs and purposes.
It is not our fault that many of our relationships are or become “It” relationships because most of what we feel, think and do is motivated by unconscious memories of how to survive the environment into which we were born. Thus, one of the reasons we use other people to help us feel better about ourselves and cope in the world is that using people was once necessary and it worked. When we were small and helpless, “It” came and fed us, and held us, and set us on our way. We didn’t have to reciprocate and care for “It”. Even when the care and attention of “It” was minimal or unpredictable, if we got out of childhood alive, somewhere along the way “It” was involved.
Freud called this stage of early life “primary narcissism”, which is our instinct ( 本能 ) for self-preservation and is a normal part of our development. While most of us grow out of it ， we still hold a survival fear, which motivates us to escape danger and to stay alive, and we all need this fear in healthy measure.
The problem is that too many of us, too much of the time, are in a constant state of threat—and we often don’t know it. We imagine people are talking about us behind our backs, that we have cancer, that we are inadequate, and vulnerable to more than our share of bad luck. As our brains have grown in size and complexity, so has our ability to scare ourselves.
This causes many problems. For example, our stress levels increase, our digestion is impaired and our thinking becomes restricted. Our threat response stops any bodily function, feeling, thought and behavior that might “waste” energy and detract from fighting or escaping danger. Thus, when in threat, our emotional, cognitive and behavioral range is significantly reduced.
And in this reduced state, one of our solutions is to find someone who can save and comfort us. Instead of enabling us to be open, direct and mutual, fear and anxiety lead us towards conversations and choices in our relations with others that are orientated towards surviving—not thriving ( 茁壮成长 ). Threat-motivated relationships are characterized by need, dependency, control, demand, dishonesty, and self-interest.
We cannot form the “I-Thou” relationships that Buber speaks of until we have learned to notice, comfort, and understand the emotions and patterns of our threat brain. When in threat, we tend to use other people as objects who can save and protect us, or who we can blame for our problems.
1 ． What does the underlined word “reciprocate” in Paragraph 2 probably mean?
A ． Return the favour. B ． Ask for some advice.
C ． Convey an apology. D ． Make some comments.
2 ． What can we learn about “primary narcissism”?
A ． It leads to our survival fear. B ． It is normal and usually temporary.
C ． It impacts our growth negatively. D ． It lays the foundation for Freud’s theory.
3 ． Which of the following could be an example of “I-It” relationships?
A ． Comforting an upset friend. B ． Feeling sorry for your mistakes.
C ． Trying hard to be independent. D ． Asking others to take on your task.
4 ． What would be the best title for this passage?
A ． How We Can Form the “I-Thou” Relationships
B ． How We Can Get Out of the “I-It” Relationships
C ． Why We Treat Others as Objects Rather Than Individuals
D ． What Helps Us Survive and Thrive in Early Stages of Life
1 ． A
2 ． B
3 ． D
4 ． C
【分析】
本文是说明文。 文章说明 了 “I-It” 关系，即我们利用对方来帮助解决我们的问题，并分析其形成的原因。
1. 词句猜测题。划线词前一句提到 “When we were small and helpless, “It” came and fed us, and held us, and set us on our way.” 作者认为在我们的童年成长过程中， “it” 会来帮助我们，带我们走上正轨；划线词后提到 “care for( 关心，照顾 )” ； and 是并列连词， “reciprocate ” 应该和 “care for” 语义并列。由此可以猜测， “reciprocate” 意思为 “Return the favour （回报这份帮助，报答这份恩情。） ” 故选 A 。
2. 细节理解题。文章第三段中提到 “Freud called this stage of early life “primary narcissism”, which is our instinct ( 本能 ) for self-preservation and is a normal part of our development. （弗洛伊德称之为生命早期阶段的 “ 原始自恋 ” ，这是我们的本能自我保护，是我们发展的正常的一部分。） ” 。根据 “this stage of early life” 可知， primary narcissism 是指生命早期阶段存在的，是暂时性的；根据 “a normal part of our development” 可知， primary narcissism 是正常的。故选 B 。
3. 推理判断题。文章第二段中提到 “one of the reasons we use other people to help us feel better about ourselves and cope in the world is that using people was once necessary and it worked. When we were small and helpless, “It” came and fed us, and held us, and set us on our way.” 说明 “I-It” 关系是指我们利用他人来帮助我们。当我们弱小无助的时候， “ 它 ” 会帮助我们，带我们走上正确的道路；文章第六段中提到 “in this reduced state, one of our solutions is to find someone who can save and comfort us. （在这种状态下，我们的解决办法之一就是找一个能拯救和安慰我们的人。） ” 。由此可知， “I-It” 关系是指利用他人来帮助我们。由此可以推断， “Asking others to take on your task. （要求别人承担你的任务） ” 是 “I-It” 关系的例子。故选 D 。
4. 主旨大意题。文章第一段提到 ““I-It” relationships are those in which we use the other, like an object, to solve our problems and fulfill our needs and purposes. ” 说明 “I-It” 关系是指我们利用对方，（把对方）就像当作是一个物体，来解决我们的问题，满足我们的需求和目的；文章第二段提到 “It is not our fault that many of our relationships are or become “It” relationships” ，说明成为 “It” 关系并不是我们的错；第四段提到 “The problem is that too many of us, too much of the time, are in a constant state of threat （问题是，我们中的太多人，在太多的时间里，处于一种持续的威胁之中） ” 是分析 “It” 关系形成的原因；文章最后一段提到 “When in threat, we tend to use other people as objects who can save and protect us, or who we can blame for our problems. （当我们受到威胁时，我们倾向于把别人当作可以拯救和保护我们的东西，或者把我们的问题归咎于他们。） ” 由此可知，文章是说明什么是 “I-It 关系 ” ，并分析其形成的原因。文章的标题应该是 “Why We Treat Others as Objects Rather Than Individuals （为什么我们把别人当作物体而不是个人）。故选 C 。